The Compliment That Hits Differently
If you’re dealing with long COVID, you’ve probably heard it a million times by now: “You look great!” Maybe they’re trying to be nice, or they don’t realize you’re battling a hundred invisible symptoms. Either way, it’s tough. You feel anything but great, and hearing it can feel frustrating, even though they mean well.
Here’s a few ideas to responding to this compliment, whether it’s from a friend, family, or a random stranger, with a mix of honesty, humor, and patience.
1. When a Good Friend Says It: “Thanks! It’s All Thanks to Smoke and Mirrors.”
Your close friends probably mean well when they say, “You look great!” But they should also know the truth about what you’re dealing with daily. After all, they’re the ones who’ve seen you collapse on the couch mid-conversation or take naps at odd hours.
Response: “Thanks! It’s all smoke and mirrors, though. You know I’m just trying to keep it together.”
Alternative: “Appreciate it! Just remember you saw me looking like a ‘before’ picture yesterday, so it’s all an illusion.”
This can remind friends that even if you look okay, it doesn’t mean you feel okay.
2. When a Work Colleague Says It: “Glad I Look Good, Because I’m Running on Empty.”
Colleagues might not see the full picture of what long COVID does to you. They see you showing up, keeping up with work (mostly), so they assume you’re fine. But they don’t realize how much energy it takes just to look “normal.”
Response: “Thank you! Glad I look good on the outside because the inside feels like it’s running on empty.”
Alternative: “Thanks! It’s one of those ‘fake it till you make it’ situations.”
This lets them know you’re working hard to appear okay, even though it’s a challenge.
3. When an Acquaintance Says It: “Thanks! Just Borrowing Energy Right Now.”
Acquaintances don’t know much about your life, so they don’t realize what you’re facing with long COVID. If someone you don’t know well says, “You look great!” it’s okay to keep your response simple.
Response: “Thanks! Just borrowing some energy right now — I’ll pay it back later.”
Alternative: “Appreciate it! But this energy is temporary; I’ll probably feel it tomorrow.”
This gives a quick, honest answer that hints at how exhausting it can be to look “fine.”
4. When a Family Member Says It: “Thanks! I Wish My Energy Matched My Looks.”
Family often wants to believe you’re better, and they can sometimes take “looking good” as a sign that you are good. But you might be having a hard time keeping up with even basic things, and they may not see that.
Response: “Thanks! I wish my energy matched my looks.”
Alternative: “Thank you! But remember, this is a day-by-day thing — some days are easier than others.”
This response gently reminds family that looking okay doesn’t mean you’re back to your old self.
5. When a Stranger Says It: “Thank You! Just Happy to Be Standing!”
When it’s a stranger — the barista, a neighbor you don’t know well — you don’t need to give too much info. If they say, “You look great!” a quick, lighthearted reply can work well.
Response: “Thank you! Just happy to be standing today.”
Alternative: “Cheers! It’s a balancing act, but I’m getting by.”
This short reply keeps it light, and you don’t have to get into details. If they’re curious, they might ask more, but otherwise, you’ve kept it simple.
6. For Yourself in the Mirror: “We’re Still Here. That’s Enough for Today.”
Sometimes, looking in the mirror and feeling anything close to “great” is hard. You know the struggles you’re dealing with, and it’s a journey just to get out of bed and get dressed some days.
Response: “Well, we’re still here. That’s enough for today.”
Alternative: “Looking okay is good enough. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
Take a moment to acknowledge your own strength. Just getting through the day is something to be proud of.
Tips for Handling the “You Look Great!” Compliment Without Stress
If you’re tired of explaining, here are a few quick tricks to handle those compliments without feeling drained:
- Keep It Short: Some days, just saying “Thank you” and moving on is enough. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
- Add a Touch of Humor: Humor can make it easier for others to understand what it’s like to have an “invisible” illness, and it lightens the mood.
- Set Boundaries: If someone wants to keep asking questions, but you’re too tired to answer, say, “Let’s talk about it another time.” Most people will respect that.
- Use It as a Teaching Moment: With close friends or family, a simple “Thanks, but looking okay doesn’t mean feeling okay” can be a quick way to educate without going too deep.
Conclusion: Taking It Day by Day
Long COVID is tough, and dealing with comments about how you “look” can be tricky. Remember that people often mean well, even if it doesn’t come across that way. Whether you respond with humor, set a boundary, or just say “thanks” and move on, know that you’re the one who understands your experience best.
Just showing up, managing symptoms, and keeping a smile when you can — that’s real strength. And on the days when you don’t have it in you, that’s okay too. Do you have any suggestions ? Please share it below in the comments
Disclaimer
This article is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition.
Long Covid Journey 